Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Giving Away

I'm still in the process of giving away 50 things to celebrate my 50th birthday. (Read original article). 39 things have gone.

I've enjoyed many delicious moments in the process, and so, apparently, have the generous receivers. Several people have told me they want to do the same for their birthdays.

Sometimes there has been an exuberant feeling, like flinging confetti into the air. Sometimes it has been very tender, seeing someone else's dear hands cherishing an object I was no longer really seeing, like this egg I'd decorated on the theme of Hexagram 3 of the I Ching--Difficulty at the Beginning.






Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Eclipse














Lunar Eclipse fabrics 36"x14" '97


Cat Love

Wilda drawing '08

As I've said before (see post Wilda) "my" cat is my guru. She teaches everything I need to know, and less, which is very helpful. I need to know less. If I didn't stuff my head with human falderall, I could maybe meditate like she does, for a second.


Maine Coon Cat (detail) fabrics

A friend (who happens to be wildly ga-ga about his cat--you can see pictures of the happy couple here) complimented the occasionally serious content of this blog saying, "It's not just pretty pictures of cats and sunsets." Being a stinkwanink contrarian, I resolved to include more cats forthwith. Sunsets can wait.


Kitty, fabrics

Here's what I don't really get: what's so laughable about being seriously in love, as an equal or equal-wannabe, with a cat? It seems sillier, to me, to believe that just being human makes an entity somehow superior to a feline, or to anyone else, like a mollusk, or a turnip, for that matter. Not that we can't have our preferences, and to each her own and all.



Black Cat fabrics


I know a very rapid woman who loves a tortoise. She hates cats. (Her husband is reported to have commented, "She doesn't like anything warm-blooded"). To each her own, as I said. Love or hate 'em, cats mind their own business.



Cat Moves, fabrics 30x30" (available)

When I say equal-wannabe, I am not implying inferiority on the part of the human, either. More that the dumb human might long to know herself as equal, equally belonging within the whole presence and wonder of Creation that can only reveal itself when her compulsive comparing and competing quiets. Forgive me if I'm getting too cerebral, too spiritual-smiritual here.



Cat Angel, fabrics

There's nothing like a cat for bring me back to earth when I get abstract. It just takes one of those glances of absolutely detached observation to make a person realize they're bizarrely off noodling in the brain, oblivious to the present where cats and gurus live.



Queen Cat, fabrics

After all, not that much is asked of us. Open the door. Close the door. Open the door. Open the can. Clean the litter box. Follow the simple directions. Is that so hard?



Cat Love, fabrics

Someone told me the suggested treatment for the nasty flu that's been going around lately is to follow a cat all day and do whatever they do. Sleep. Groom. Sleep. Eat a little. Sleep. Wake up. Stretch. The guru does yoga, so you do it too.



Grey Cat fabrics


Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine



Beach (fabrics) 10x23in


Here, cupped within the brimming horizon,
held with the same yearning gravity
that spins planets courting suns



Innocence Mandala, fabrics, 9in diameter


now, while whirlygig galaxies
bloom on all sides equally infinite




Constellation (detail) fabrics


and lush in your intimate cells,
the DNA couples again,
its patient twining fingers
stroking the braille of wholeness




Zinnias (detail) fabrics


while you scratch, or fart, or sigh, forsaken,
you matter, you are spirit-matter,
the very center of everything,




Moment (fabrics) 16x18 in (available)


the great spaciousness inside the atoms,
the zinging quarks never in one place-time
to call here and now at once;

you, that huge a mystery trueness,
so private and particular and first-time-ever,




Scorpio Rose, detail, fabrics, '97


all the way out and all the way in:

you are made of love.
Love can never leave you.




Jump for Joy (detail) fabrics


'Nother Valentine





Saturday, February 9, 2008

The World Oracle





The World Oracle

Ask, why? to hear because;
ask, now? for yes or no.

How also works inside out,
like this: how do I make money
out of lazy bones and short days?
Try: how does no-money unmake me,
in willing boneless long nights?

Is it over? Did it start?
Am I getting warmer?

What do you really want to know?

Does love choose?
Do cats ever blink for effect,
or do they always mean it?

Don’t be silly.
Hold your question
like carrying water
in your hands to drink.

Next, be still and walk about listening.
Circulate like the child navigating
the whole room while all the obedient
ones close eyes in prayer. In stealth
and glee and solitude wait unknown
for some one thing to speak to you.

A pebble glittering with sunshards
in a hoard below a drainpipe
told me, “be wealth.”
The schoolbus from behind
said, "wait to learn."
Sidewalk cigarette filter said,
“it's over: drop it.”

The world oracle flashes, terse and true
like fish shadows in windy moonlight.





Saturday, February 2, 2008

Imbolc/Brigid/Candlemas/Groundhog's Day



Imbolc Dawn, fabrics, 10x12 in (available)

Half way between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox already! A spark is lit, the creative spark, the beginning of beginning. Light strengthens. Within the stillness of Winter, a memory, an anticipation of Spring stirs.

This year the rising fire energy has inspired me to begin clearing out whatever feels dead or stagnant in my little world, my groundhog burrow. I've started a spring cleaning, the first deep one in many years. Little by little, one thing, one area at a time, on physical and mental planes, it's burning through some stuck places.


This is also the season of my birthday, my 50th. I decided to give away or let go of 50 things, to celebrate. 50 things that somehow matter, or used to, or that I want to release for whatever reason. I'm letting go of a long-standing business arrangement and some artifacts weighted with heavy nostalgia. I've given away lovely things that I was saving for a use that hasn't revealed itself. I'm giving a friend a piece of art he wanted but couldn't afford, because I noticed I thought of it as his already.

There is a sensation of burning at times, maybe a burning of attachment. I feel freedom and elation as I give, and then later sometimes a clutching regret, or shame, or fear: more mental junk to clear out, the clearing that matters the most. Then I look at the place where a formerly loved object isn't and feel a surging gratitude, piercing love for the open space.

If this kind of burning takes hold, it might throw enough light to see a shadow by, a fierce Kali-the-Distroyer shadow, maybe. Or the Jungian Shadow, archetype of what has been denied and hidden in the psyche; it might be easier to meet that in the continuing quiet of winter, while the inward time keeps dreaming in deep hibernation. Or maybe the shadow of the girl and young woman I was and still am inside this aging body. (The old European holiday on this day traditionally celebrated the Maiden aspect of the Goddess more than the Crone).

And in a little over 6 weeks the balance point of Spring will be here, one way or another, no matter what real or metaphorical shadows us groundhogs see or don't. Something new will sprout.


Creative Spark Altar Cloth, fabrics, 24x36 inches