Saturday, February 2, 2008

Imbolc/Brigid/Candlemas/Groundhog's Day

Imbolc Dawn, fabrics, 10x12 in (available)

Half way between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox already! A spark is lit, the creative spark, the beginning of beginning. Light strengthens. Within the stillness of Winter, a memory, an anticipation of Spring stirs.

This year the rising fire energy has inspired me to begin clearing out whatever feels dead or stagnant in my little world, my groundhog burrow. I've started a spring cleaning, the first deep one in many years. Little by little, one thing, one area at a time, on physical and mental planes, it's burning through some stuck places.

This is also the season of my birthday, my 50th. I decided to give away or let go of 50 things, to celebrate. 50 things that somehow matter, or used to, or that I want to release for whatever reason. I'm letting go of a long-standing business arrangement and some artifacts weighted with heavy nostalgia. I've given away lovely things that I was saving for a use that hasn't revealed itself. I'm giving a friend a piece of art he wanted but couldn't afford, because I noticed I thought of it as his already.

There is a sensation of burning at times, maybe a burning of attachment. I feel freedom and elation as I give, and then later sometimes a clutching regret, or shame, or fear: more mental junk to clear out, the clearing that matters the most. Then I look at the place where a formerly loved object isn't and feel a surging gratitude, piercing love for the open space.

If this kind of burning takes hold, it might throw enough light to see a shadow by, a fierce Kali-the-Distroyer shadow, maybe. Or the Jungian Shadow, archetype of what has been denied and hidden in the psyche; it might be easier to meet that in the continuing quiet of winter, while the inward time keeps dreaming in deep hibernation. Or maybe the shadow of the girl and young woman I was and still am inside this aging body. (The old European holiday on this day traditionally celebrated the Maiden aspect of the Goddess more than the Crone).

And in a little over 6 weeks the balance point of Spring will be here, one way or another, no matter what real or metaphorical shadows us groundhogs see or don't. Something new will sprout.

Creative Spark Altar Cloth, fabrics, 24x36 inches