I can modestly say I'm pretty good at Flying By Seat O' Pants. But sometimes it seems like a little decisive foresight might do a world of good for the home team. In the game of life, it can help to pick a card, any card, and go from there, without back-talk.
Here is one of my fave current mind toys:
Ingredients: paper, pen.
1. Make a list of "Things I might want to do" related to the decision-needing topic.
- Drop any concern with How? or Why?
- Abstain from But... and Because...
- Include the silly, improbable and fun.
- Include variations on themes, different configurations of possibilities.
- Don't pre-qualify. Go for speed and quantity.
2. Do something else for a little while.
- Take a 10 minute Field Trip.
- Or: hum a tune
- Get a little snack
- Take a walk
- Pat a resident pet.
- Confident? Playful? Light and energetic?
- Did the decision seem to make itself without resistance or second-guessing?
- Did you sense this would be a fine move for all concerned?
- Did you feel like if it didn't work out, you'd just try something else?
- Cross out, ruthlessly, anything that makes your energy sag. Be a warrior: the pen is your sword.
- Circle anything that has a lift, a whiff of enthusiasm, a Yes.
- If you truly Don't Know yet, write DK next to the option.
- Let yourself be surprised.
- Move quickly. Don't linger or cogitate.
- No=Yes. No is yes to you, to your truth right now.
- Don't Know=Yes also. Are you willing to whole-heartedly Not-Know about this option for now?
- Don't Know is a place to stand and step on from, just like No and Yes are.
Voila! You have made decisions. To continue....
"If it's not a Hell, YES! it's a No."--Marie Forleo
6. Pick a circled option, a Yes–preferably a 'Hell, YES!'
- Make a list of small, clearly-defined actions you could take to move towards it.
- Clearly-defined means you can tell when you've done it, and it's within your power to do on a day of average wattage, not genius. Time limits often work well for defining actions.
- Do something else for a little while. Mental sorbet: clear the palate.
- Come back and circle and cross out those actions, yessing the ones with a lift....
- and do one of the Yes's