Recipe for Deciding

No Dichotomy

I can modestly say I'm pretty good at Flying By Seat O' Pants. But sometimes it seems like a little decisive foresight might do a world of good for the home team. In the game of life, it can help to pick a card, any card, and go from there, without back-talk. 

Consequently....

Here is one of my fave current mind toys:

Ingredients: paper, pen. 

1. Make a list of "Things I might want to do" related to the decision-needing topic.

• Drop any concern with How? or Why?
• Abstain from But... and Because...
• Include the silly, improbable and fun.
• Include variations on themes, different configurations of possibilities.
• Don't pre-qualify. Go for speed and quantity.

2. Do something else for a little while. 

• Take a 10 minute Field Trip.
• Or: hum a tune 
• Get a little snack
• Take a walk
• Pat a resident pet.   

3. Recall a recent satisfying decision, big or little. How did it feel?

• Confident? Playful? Light and energetic?
• Did the decision seem to make itself without resistance or second-guessing?
• Did you sense this would be a fine move for all concerned? 
• Did you feel like if it didn't work out, you'd just try something else?

4. From the feeling-state of happy deciding you just recalled, read each item on your list, listening to your heart and gut.

• Cross out, ruthlessly, anything that makes your energy sag. Be a warrior: the pen is your sword. 
• Circle anything that has a lift, a whiff of enthusiasm, a Yes. 
• If you truly Don't Know yet, write DK next to the option. 
• Let yourself be surprised.
• Move quickly. Don't linger or cogitate.

5. Acknowledge:

• No=Yes. No is yes to you, to your truth right now.
• Don't Know=Yes also. Are you willing to whole-heartedly Not-Know about this option for now? 
• Don't Know is a place to stand and step on from, just like No and Yes are.

Voila! You have made decisions. To continue....

 

"If it's not a Hell, YES! it's a No."--Marie Forleo 

 

6. Pick a circled option, a Yes–preferably a 'Hell, YES!'

• Make a list of small, clearly-defined actions you could take to move towards it.
• Clearly-defined means you can tell when you've done it, and it's within your power to do on a day of average wattage, not genius. Time limits often work well for defining actions. 
• Do something else for a little while. Mental sorbet: clear the palate.
• Come back and circle and cross out those actions, yessing the ones with a lift....
• and do one of the Yes's

Repeat as needed. ;-)