Gentleness

In the I Ching Book of Changes (one of the world's oldest advice books) Hexagram #57: Gentleness/The Penetrating talks about clearing entrenched destructive tendencies.  

 

The power of gentleness dissolves difficulties with persistent influence like wind dispersing clouds or roots penetrating soil.

"The Gentle: Success through what is small.

Gradual, inconspicuous effects

are more enduring and complete." 

-- from I Ching Book of Changes, trans: Wilhelm/Baynes  

 

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When meeting unwanted circumstances, we may react with a contracted, agitated state of mind which demands quick solutions. Or, we may tend towards despondency, abandoning ourselves to numbness, inertia and doubt. When we try to force big improvements we're often dismayed to find they don't last.

How, instead, to live from what is truest in us, even when we don't like what's happening within or without? How to act from love rather than fear--not in some imagined heroic version of our biography, but right here in this humble, messy moment, alive with exactly these challenges and opportunities?

Hexagram 57, Gentleness offers a pointer: success through what is small. 

 

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Gentleness might look like simply noticing what's happening within. For instance, here comes the next defense/attack thought, churning through the mind-field, bristling with hooks and spin.  

What if I realized that I actually don't have to argue or agree with a thought? I don't have to believe it. I don't have to take it personally and make myself right/wrong for having it. I am free to not-follow it into acting-out. 

 

I don't even need to get rid of it. I can simply recognize it as a thought-form. Such a small, small thing! And look: it's already dispersing like a weather front clearing before the wind!

 

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Gentleness is an attitude of healing sensitivity as we connect with our stuck spots and witness their passing, illusory nature. It takes a grounded, persistent, light touch to cooperate with the dissolving of conditioned mental habits and blockages. We can train in meeting our shifting mental/emotional landscape as non-judgmentally and intimately as a breeze touching every leaf and branch it passes.

As we continue to free ourselves according to our current understanding and evolution, our light naturally brightens. It shines to the benefit of others as well; they can sense our sincerity, and relax in our presence. Nourishing insight, vitality and creative curiosity grow in our awareness and express in our choices. This is the success of gentleness.

 

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To give yourself a reading loosely based on Hexagram 57, 

pick a # 1-6 and consider the pointers below that correspond to it. 

1. As you are able, disengage from your own patterns of defense, attack, explanation or justification--even when others approach aggressively. Stop using your imagination to construct schemes and fortifications against what anyone might do, think or feel. "In my defenselessness my safety lies."--A Course In Miracles  

2. Look for hidden drains to your well-being such as pride/shame, self-pity, or rigid notions of 'how it should be.' Ask for and accept help to free yourself. Gentle, sustained, honest clearing will bring great relief and renewal. Check your dark corners and hidey-holes.

3. Withdraw attention energy from conflicts. Cease struggling to solidify a position or force a solution. Seemingly small habits of fighting mentally can keep you unbalanced and distracted, intensifying confusion and suffering. Simple self-honesty is all that is needed.

4. When you discover fear-mongering habits of thought, be clear and resolute about questioning, correcting or disengaging from them. Abstain from engaging with their seductive, alarming stories. Weed your inner garden. Watch for difficulties to resolve themselves in creative ways, bit by bit, without you having to make anything happen. 

5. The butterfly is the death of the caterpillar. Before full renewal can come, the old, entrenched habits must end. Remain persistent and non-judgemental, knowing these patterns are well-established and may temporarily return. They are on the way out if you neither resist/reject nor harbor/indulge them. 

6. Sincerely checking in with yourself is enough, even if nothing particular shows up or resolves. Don't overdo a search for what to clear up; you don't need fixing. Do what's in front of you now, stay simple and humble, and move on.

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I've studied with the I Ching  for more than 25 years. 

It always helps me reorient to my inner truth

Would you like an intuitive reading informed by this rich oracle tradition?

New View I Ching Consult will give you a fresh perspective on your situation. 

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Innocence

What are you expecting of yourself and others? Wondering how it's all going to turn out?
Want a reading about that, based on the wisdom of the I Ching Book of Changes?

• Jot down a topic you're curious about. 
• Pick a number between 1 and 6.

Read the post below, +/or scroll down to the end to see the reading that corresponds with your number.

Innocence Mandala, fabrics, by Jude Spacks

I am always very happy to see Hexagram 25, Innocence (The Unexpected) show up in an I Ching reading. It points me back to the wholesome satisfaction of doing things for their own sake, without conniving about outcomes. The I Ching calls this "supreme success": to move into action from a mind that is "natural and true, unshadowed by ulterior designs" (I Ching Book of Changes, Wilhelm/Baynes trans). 

It also reminds me that if I'm trying to force things to work out in my favor, it's likely that nothing much will work out at all—it would be better not to undertake anything with that kind of defensive, pressured mindset. Likewise, if I come from a slapdash self-indulgent mood which is the flip side of pressure-head, I won't connect with the genuine ease and sureness of innocence.

This inherent, mature innocence is not naive or impulsive. It is a state of openness to the movement of the unpredictable. Innocence orients us to the present-moment flow of creative inspiration.

When we're not expecting an outcome or projecting our own mental state outwards onto circumstances, we're fully available to the present. In the undefended mind of innocence, there are no foregone conclusions. We are at home with the fact that we don't know what will happen later, and we go about our business, naturally harmonizing with what is happening now. It feels right. 

But sometimes the innocence of residing in one's center without expectation of results seems vulnerable and risky. We might think we must throw ourselves outwards into efforts to manipulate externals through expecting and projecting.  

Expectations can give an illusion of egoic control. "I expect you to finish this immediately!" has a nice tough sound to it. Like, "I'll hold my breath till my face turns blue!" Maybe sometimes it works to force things to bend to your will.

But if I'm depending on getting my way to feel ok, I've outsourced my happiness, which is not a position of real power. When I expect others (or myself) to conform to my wishes, I set myself up for resentment: disappointment laced with blame.  

The Courage of No-Defense, digital artwork by Jude Spacks

If we give up the willful control of expecting/projecting, what will be left? Will we just sink down into lazy lumps and never get anything done?

It might be worth questioning the notion that we're programed with a lazy-lump default we must constantly labor to override. Basically that assumes we are guilty of indolence until proven innocent, again and again.

The innocence of going with the flow doesn't mean the flow always goes where we'd like it to. It means that we're able to respond to unfolding reality with full access to our natural intelligence in the moment, unclouded by a struggle to force externals to match our projections and preferences.

 

What if we already have the natural curiosity, ingenuity, stamina, perseverance and all the other qualities we need to accomplish what can really be useful to us and the Whole?

People in touch with their original state of innocence are "rich in virtue and in harmony with the time, [and can] foster and nourish all beings" (I Ching Book of Changes, Wilhelm/Baynes trans).  

  

  
Questions for Reflection

Consider the 12 Step slogan "Expectations are premeditated resentments."

• Where might you be expecting things of others or yourself that set you up for resentment and dissatisfaction? 
• Scan your current plans. Are you depending on some outcome? How does that feel? Is it nourishing to you and to others?
• What, specifically, might you be expecting of yourself today? What would it be like to drop that expectation, to see it as only a passing thought-form?
• What would it be like to enter your next activity wholeheartedly, just to do it, without concerning yourself with evaluating how you're doing or what comes next?

Want a reading about innocence and expectations in some area of your life?  

So, did you think of a topic related to this that you're curious about?  
And did you pick a number between 1 and 6?
Now, read the message below corresponding to your number. 
(Or, read them all and see which resonate for you). 
Keeping an open mind, do you see how these pointers might apply to your situation?

1. Follow the original impulse of your good heart with confidence. Remain detached about outcomes, making no plans to influence what might happen. Everything will work out for the best for all concerned.
2. Keep doing every task for its own sake, in a flexible way appropriate to the time and place. Don't divert attention into speculation or planning about possible results. As you keep your eyes on the needs of the moment and the task right at hand, your work turns out well and your undertakings succeed. 
3. Sometimes things happen that we don't like and which are not our fault. Act with care and integrity in even the smallest transactions; coming from your center doesn't mean you ignore the context you're in. Accommodate yourself with acceptance to the demands of the actual situation.
4. You can't lose what is really yours, so you can relax. Attend only to remaining true to your own nature. Don't pressure or distract yourself with opinions, desires or fears. Stay with what's essential and immediate and you'll know when and how to be helpful. 
5. If something unwanted comes along by accident, don't combat it with external means. As long as it isn't rooted in some fixated confusion within you, it will naturally improve by itself.
6. If the time is not ripe for further progress, it's best to wait quietly, without planning, scheming or explaining. It won't work to try to push ahead in opposition to the way things are going. Give others space to come to understanding for themselves and just tend to what's in front of you now. 

Mat for Tossing I Ching Coins On, fabrics, by Jude Spacks

I doubt I'll get to posting about all 64 hexagrams of the I Ching, but here some others, which also invite you to connect with the oracle on a topic :#3 Difficulty at the Beginning,  #5 Waiting  #12 Standstill #57Gentleness and #60 Limitation.

Enjoy the creative courage of your natural innocence today!  

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Difficulty at the Beginning

Want a reading, based on the wisdom of the I Ching Book of Changes, about a difficult beginning in your life or work?  

• Jot down the topic you're curious about. 
• Pick a number between 1 and 6. 

Read the post, +/or scroll down to see the advice that corresponds with your number....
 

 

Intersection (markers) Jude Spacks 2011

After the sluggishness of a creative mud season, what a relief to get a fresh start! Bright, sparkly, new ideas jostle for attention. The mind zips around like a crazed puppy, trying to sniff everything at once.

In this phase of beginning anything, so much is in flux. We may feel scattered and breathless at the variety of all that wants to zing into being. The strands of different possibilities intersect and tangle with each other, making it hard to see which comes before what, and who's next.

When you're blessed with a springtime of creative growth like this, how can you skillfully handle the confusion and chaos that may roll in with it?

The I Ching suggests we "arrange and organize the inchoate profusion of such times of beginning, just as one sorts out silk threads from a knotted tangle."(Wilhem/Baynes). We need persistence, patience, and a delicate, sensitive touch to help things sort themselves out. Sometimes the best way forward is to hold back from seeking quick results.

"Restless action interferes with the creative process unfolding. If we can persevere in non-action and disengagement, the Creative will resolve everything correctly."
--A Guide to the I Ching, (Hexagram 3, Difficulty at the Beginning) by Carol Anthony

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Want a reading about a beginning in your life or work?  

• Think of a topic you're curious about
• Pick a number between 1 and 6
• Read the advice below corresponding to the number you picked.
• Keeping an open mind, can you see how this might apply to your situation?

1. If you meet a hindrance, don't act just for the sake of action. Dissolve inner obstacles within your beliefs and attitudes. Without abandoning your goal, pause, take thought, and don't be too proud to ask for help.

2. In the midst of challenges, something unexpected happens. You truly can't tell if it's a windfall or a set-back. Be cautious about premature solutions. Don't give in to pressure to make a deal that might compromise your integrity and independence.

3. You will not be able to find your way without more perspective. This isn't a time to try to wing it or slide by. For now, stop seeking resolution, ask for spiritual guidance, and wait for clarity.

4. Relax pride and take the risk of being the first to reach out for a connection. You need help in order to make real progress; there's no shame in this. Collaborate. All goes well.

5. Your good intentions are being misunderstood; explaining them won't help. For now, continue in the background without making a big deal out of it. Take one small step at a time, until the situation gradually clears up and the way opens to proceeding on a larger scale.

6. It seems like you're not getting anywhere and the difficulties are too great. You're understandably discouraged. It's natural that sometimes things just don't work out. But do not indulge in an attitude of resignation and defeat. Rid yourself of the effort to shore up any self-image. You have nothing to prove.

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"Times of growth are beset with difficulties....But these difficulties arise from the very profusion of all that is struggling to attain form. Everything is in motion: therefore if one perseveres there is a prospect of great success, in spite of the existing danger."
--I Ching Book of Changes (Hexagram 3, Difficulty at the Beginning) Wilhelm/Baynes trans

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Could you use some help with further untangling your mind about something? 

See if Truth and Dare Coaching might assist.

Waiting

Want a quick reading based on one of the world's oldest advice columns (the I Ching Book of Changes)? 

We'll look at #5 of the 64 hexagrams that make up the I Ching: on Waiting/Nourishment.  

First, you might want to check in: is there something particular you're waiting for? Maybe jot down a question about handling the wait.
 

And, pick a number between 1 and 6. Write that down too.

Read below about the hexagram, or, scroll to the bottom of the post to see the suggestion/pointer corresponding to your number. 

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"This hexagram shows the clouds in the heavens, giving rain to refresh all that grows 
and to provide mankind with food and drink.
The rain will come in its own time.
We cannot make it come; we have to wait for it."
--Hexagram 5, I Ching Book of Changes, Wilhelm/Baynes trans.

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What are you waiting for?

For a lucky break? To find out what happens? To finish something so you can get on to something else? For an ordeal to be over, a danger to pass? To get to the head of the line? 

Waiting has been on my mind. I'd been working on a picture that meets the suffering side of waiting–a portrait in fabrics and paint inspired by a sketch called 'Woman Waiting' that I saw in a book of artwork made during the Holocaust.

Woman Waiting

More recently, I'd been fidgeting while waiting to find out whether something I really hope for will happen. 

I've noticed that this wait is only a problem when my impatient mind rushes ahead trying to stack up future decisions on the shaky foundation of the not-yet-known.

When I wait impatiently, I wheedle for insider information from the Universe--come ON! Give me a hint? My hungry mind is like a kid badgering for candy at the checkout. This is tiring and not-nourishing. The I Ching reminds me to conserve my energy for later when there's something to do.

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 "We should not worry and seek to shape the future 
by interfering in things before the time is ripe. 
We should quietly fortify 
the body with food and drink 
 and the mind with gladness and good cheer. 
Fate comes when it will, and thus we are ready."
--I Ching Hexagram 5 Wilhelm/Baynes 
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 A quick way to fortify the body-mind

Sometimes good cheer isn't so easily come by during a wait. Here's something that usually helps me when I remember to try it: Instead of seeking to drop impatience, simply shift attention to the space behind my back.

No matter what fills it, there's always just as much space behind your body as in front (likewise above, below and to the sides). What happens if you just notice that back space, and allow the body to settle into it instead of pressing forward and up in a posture of rushing towards the future?
 
There is a comfort in letting yourself be exactly where you are, as you are, even when it's not comfortable. And it helps to recognize that your state is always changing. You might watch your breathing for a moment, noticing its shifting qualities, without trying to alter it. Give yourself full permission to rest here and let gladness restore itself even before you know the outcome you're awaiting.  

It is also possible to wait too patiently 

Sometimes I catch myself putting life on hold while waiting for something important to play out. If I endure in limbo for long enough without agitating, will my enforced 'good attitude' somehow be rewarded?

Circumstances don't often bend to fit this fantasy. The antidote the I Ching advises? Self-honesty--get real.

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"One is faced with a danger that has to be overcome. Weakness and impatience can do nothing.
It is only when we have the courage 
to face things exactly as they are, 
without any sort of self-deception or illusion,  
that a light will develop out of events,  
by which the path to success may be recognized. 
This recognition must be followed 
by resolute and persevering action."
--I Ching Hexagram 5 Wilhelm/Baynes

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Consult the Oracle

So, did you consider a question you may have regarding waiting? And did you pick a number between 1 and 6?

Read the suggestion corresponding to your number and explore how you might relate it to your question or situation.

• 1. A challenge is coming, but it is not yet close. Go on with your life in a simple, alert and open way. Don't waste your strength on anticipation or rehearsals. Enjoy your present.
• 2. Impending change is stirring up some insecurity. Take care not to indulge in blame (especially self-blame) or defensiveness. Remind yourself that it really is ok to not know what is going to happen yet, even if you don't like it.
• 3. Don't hold back from fully completing a needed change. Half measures will not work now. Be vigilant about not following fearful or despairing thoughts or acting from their influence. Fears can make things appear stuck or impossible.
• 4. There is nothing else you can do right now. Stop trying to force solutions or to figure anything out and remain calm, trusting in heart knowledge to get you out of danger when the time is ripe.
• 5. Even though everything isn't resolved yet, now is a good time to pause and enjoy yourself. If you are waiting for something to be over with, you may be missing the true nourishment available in the present. Everything can't happen at once.
• 6. Your good fortune may come in disguise. Question the thought, "I have to do it all" and remain alert and available to receive help in unexpected forms. All goes well in the end.

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Want to reconnect more deeply with your own wisdom, clarity and ease? Creative Mind Coaching might help: www.TruthDareCoaching.com

Standstill

The creative powers are not in relation
all things are benumbed
confusion and disorder prevail...

--I Ching Book of Changes, Wilhelm/Baynes trans
Hexagram 12 Standstill/Stagnation

Is there an area of your life or work that doesn't seem so creative lately? This hexagram addresses stagnant situations where there appears to be no progress.

Want some oracular advice? Before reading further, think of a particular situation where your inner guidance and inspiration seems shut down, sluggish or simply absent. If you can persuade yourself to, write down a question about what you'd most like cleared up. Then pick a number between 1 and 6 and jot that down.

"When we perceive that there is no progress...
tension and inner conflict arise.

The remedy is to disengage from looking at the situation.

We abandon neither our principles nor our goals.

When we have re-established inner calm,
the clarity needed to put things into perspective becomes possible. Until then, nothing can be done.

In all striving the ego attempts to find some
way to make things work in order to stay in control.

If we can accept that we are meant to patiently persevere,
then, by itself, Fate will indicate the way."

--Carol Anthony A Guide to the I Ching, Hexagram 12 Standstill/Stagnation

The hexagram as a whole counsels a retreat from trying to force solutions. Fruitful activity is temporarily impossible, because fundamentals are out of relationship with each other. Best not to focus on externals, even if tempting offers appear. Public action now could wind up compromising your principles. Instead, withdraw, be patient, and allow right action to arise of itself.

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Remembering your particular stuck situation, read the advice corresponding to the number between 1 and 6 that you wrote down earlier.

Keep an open mind, and see if your question's answer reveals itself to you.

(If you didn't pick a number 1-6 above, go ahead and choose one now.
Or, just read them all and see if one feels like it is meant for you.
Or, don't. )

1. Stop pouring attention into the negative situation.
Quit trying to influence it or to strive against it in any way.
Instead, persevere inwardly to stay connected with your truth.

2. You may have to endure self pity, discouragement and mistrust
from others and from your own childish aspects. For the good of
all, don't act on pressures to try to fix or convince anyone.

3. Misunderstandings within and without are beginning to clear up.
The futility of trying to force solutions becomes evident.
Take care not to humiliate or rush those who are changing
their confused ideas for the better.

4. If you remain open, balanced and alert,
you may be called into action by events now.
Keeping free of willful ambition,
you advance as the way opens and
pause if you meet further obstructions.

5. The transition out of standstill has arrived.
Take great caution now. Don't be carried away
into grand gestures. Instead, take small steady steps
to secure the transformation from many angles.

6.Through keeping your inner attitude correct
you have brought about better conditions.
The time of standstill has come to an end.
Creative energies flow into harmony.

Before Completion

Before Completion (Fire Over Water)
Hexagram 64 of the I Ching
fabrics, threads and paint, 10x21 in, Jude Spacks '08 $549

I love that the I Ching ends before it ends: its final hexagram is called Before Completion. The text describes the transition from a state of standstill or stagnation, to one of peace. "It points to the fact that every end contains a new beginning. Thus it gives hope...." (all quotations from The I Ching Book of Changes, Wilhelm/Baynes trans.)

Before Completion is a more auspicious oracle than the preceding one, 63, After Completion, which describes an evolution from peace to standstill. When everything is done and all in order, movement stops: "For it is just when perfect equilibrium has been reached that any movement may cause order to revert to disorder."

(This reminds me of a couple I heard of who were both studying Alexander technique. The woman found her husband lying on the bed. "Don't touch me!" he said, "I'm perfectly aligned.")

Young Fox, fabrics (prints available)

A key metaphor of both hexagrams is of a fox crossing an iced over stream. An old fox has the experience, sensitivity and alertness to cross successfully. A young fox may impetuously try to rush things to completion, and wind up with the humiliation of getting its tail wet at the end.

"Success. But if the little fox, after nearly completing the crossing, gets his tail in the water, there is nothing that would further...."

Then, after crossing, it's important not to turn back and get your head wet. When it's over, let it be over.

Before Completion, detail, viewed from the side

Completion calls for the tricky job of differentiating and harmonizing factors that don't easily accord with each other, like fire and water. The text explains that the only way to do this is to be in right relation with ourselves first. "...in order to handle external forces properly, we must above all arrive at the correct standpoint ourselves, for only from this vantage can we work correctly."

Working from the correct standpoint in myself on this fire and water piece meant being a beginner. I'd never made anything quite like it before. It kept me surprised the whole time, following unexpected directions from inner guidance, like the idea of hanging one section of the piece from the other.

I experimented with a chenille technique and with making fringe out of some special threads (see The Support of Water). I didn't realize the title until the end. After it was "complete" I saw that the fringe suggested a fox's tail. Maybe it also implies the unraveling of ends--things coming and going from one form to another.

Another recent piece used thread to suggest fire. It also references endings and beginnings in the image of a phoenix, that burns and rises anew from its ashes. The hexagonal mirror can place your face between incarnations of the phoenix above and below.

Phoenix Mirror, Jude Spacks '08
fabrics, threads, paint, and mirror, 12x21in

detail, Phoenix (chenille and threads)

Red Envelopes

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I have a friend who studied Feng Shui (the Chinese art of balancing energies in an environment). She once mentioned that traditionally, Feng Shui practitioners are paid in 9 red envelopes containing money which is also in multiples of 9. This empowers the 'cure' for the environment.

I felt inspired to thank her for the free advice she'd given me over the years (including putting crystals on 9 inch strings in crucial spots).

So I gave her 9 red envelopes, which I made. (I thought making the envelopes might empower the cure even more; but clutter still reigns around here, so I'm not sure that's how it works.)

Inside one red envelope, I put a check for $18, in others, 36 shiny dimes, 9 five dollar bills, 54 pennies, all polished, and so on--I remember it added up to being quite a lot, and it was fun to give. She was touched, and slept one night with all of them under her pillow. Here are 5 of the envelopes--I can't seem to find a picture of all 9:

Since then, I've set most of my prices and fees in multiples of nine (though I skip the envelopes!). I like how this association to Feng Shui acknowledges a positive power in paying for the client (along with the benefit to the practitioner of being supported to continue their calling).

Framing the exchange of monetary energy this way has helped me receive money with an open, light-hearted reverence that heightens gratitude.

I don't have to tell the client about it, but I imagine that setting my prices in a way that works for my quirky magic-loving self may make the exchange more comfortable and valuable for both of us. And maybe it really does increase the helpful potency of the work, its transformative power.

Limitation

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Limitation doesn't always sound like good news.
But in the I Ching Book of Changes,
the world's oldest advice colummn,
Hexagram 60, Limitation, augurs success.

As a lake exists by containing only a limited amount of the infinite quantity of water, a person is defined by the choices they make based on integrity.

Without the structure provided by limits, creative choice would dissolve into boundless, formless mush. But too much limitation makes for the rigid control that provokes resistance and rebellion; so "it is necessary to set limits even upon limitation." (Wilheim/Baynes translation of I Ching Book of Changes).

Following the advice of this hexagram might mean trusting the integrity that tells you your project needs more work to meet your own standards. Or it might mean, don't persevere to the point of painful perfectionism: here's the deadline, it's as done as it's going to get.

Want to consult the oracle? Think of a life situation related to limitation. Take a moment to jot down a question: what would you really like to know about how you should proceed? Then pick a number 1-6 and write it down.

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OK, you have a question about a limitation, right?
And you picked a number between 1-6 ?

Bearing the question in mind, read the lines corresponding with your number.

Hold them lightly. Wait quietly until you hear your own Voice interpreting the prompt into sensible right-feeling advice for your situation.


1.You need to know when to stop. If you accept the limits set for you, great power will accumulate for decisive action when the time is right. For now, be scrupulous in minding only your own business, and don't say much.

2. It's time to move. No holding back now. Don't hesitate past the moment when the obstacles to action have been removed, or you will miss your opportunity.

3. Take full responsibility for the consequences of having resisted necessary limits in order to seek pleasure. Then you can regain your sense of integrity and learn from mistakes.

4. Go with the flow. The limitation is a natural one, like the fact that water moves only downhill. Success comes from saving energy that would be wasted in struggle and effort; that energy can now be wholly applied to the benefit of the matter at hand.

5. Walk the walk. Whatever limits you think would be good for someone else, try them yourself first, asking little from others. If they like what they see, they'll emulate your example.

6. Overly severe restrictions will always bring about rebellion. Renounce strict measures that attempt to externally control the situation, and show mercy to yourself as you remain uncompromising in adhering to your integrity.